Half a coconut hung from a tree makes a nutritious food for your garden
birds.
It also helps to keep other coconuts away from your house.

Why don't executioners ever high-five people?
They prefer to leave 'em hanging

Just found a video of my daughter on pornhub. 
To make matters worse it sounds like she also has coronovirus as apparently she is a super spreader.

My grandpa was in the army and he was attacked with both pepper spray and mustard gas. 

Now he's a seasoned veteran

Knock, knock. 
Who's there? 
Bed 
Bed who? 
Bed you can't guess who I am!

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice. 
 

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie into it

why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he was feeling crummy.