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DaBoiThicc

I knew i shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now i’m feeling a little… Eel

Mark14

How do you get a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.

Deus

I made a breakthrough today.

So Ive stopped buying cheap toilet rolls.

Mark14

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Deus

Why does Waldo only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

Kate

What did the big flower say to the littler flower? Hi, bud!

Deus

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.

Deus

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!

PastaMan

You will never guess what Elsa did to the balloon. She let it go.

Deus

Which city is the South African Superman from?

Cape Town

PastaMan

I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition

GoD_139

In the news a courtroom artist was arrested today, I'm not surprised, he always seemed sketchy.

Mark14

Past, present, and future walked into a bar.... It was tense.

PastaMan

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

PastaMan

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.

Kate

Bad at golf? Join the club.

Mark14

There is something wrong with my cell phone.
It doesn't have your number in it.

PastaMan

Where’s the bin? Dad: I haven’t been anywhere!

Kate

Ben & Jerry's really need to improve their operation. The only way to get there is down a rocky road.

PastaMan

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

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