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Deus

I made a breakthrough today.

So Ive stopped buying cheap toilet rolls.

41

SeeOcKay

travel

When Tom was new to the tracks, he asked a good working fellow how he could know where to go. "Lots of training," he told the young locomotive.

44

Deus

puns

Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle? Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are. Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.

48

Deus

puns

I'd like to start a diet, but I've got too much on my plate right now.

1

PastaMan

puns

I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked. Then it just clicked.

51

Kate

puns

Why are mummys scared of vacation? They're afraid to unwind.

37

Mark14

puns

Past, present, and future walked into a bar.... It was tense.

42

Mark14

puns

How was the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.

42

PastaMan

puns

Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees? They're really good at it.

36

Mark14

puns

How do you get a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.

52

PastaMan

puns

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

1

Kate

puns

Leather is great for sneaking around because it's made of hide.

40

Mark14

puns

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

47

DaBoiThicc

puns

I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

39

DaBoiThicc

puns

The best time on a clock is 6:30--hands down.

1

Mark14

pickup lines

There is something wrong with my cell phone. 
It doesn't have your number in it.

34

DaBoiThicc

puns

I knew i shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now i’m feeling a little… Eel

45

GoD_139

puns

In the news a courtroom artist was arrested today, I'm not surprised, he always seemed sketchy.

37

PastaMan

puns

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

54

Mark14

puns

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

1

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