Puns

Why is Batman jealous of Superman?

Superman got adopted.

Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm?

Because it's Crypto-night

Superman got a divorce...

He can only see his kids with super vision now.

Why couldn't Superman find the local playground as a kid?

Adult supervision was required

What is it called when Batman and Superman challenge each other to a race?

A Marthaon

What did Lois Lane say when she found out that Superman has ED?

Clark can't.

Superman can fly but...

Clark Kent.

What do Superman and a politician have in common?

They both wear a suit and tie when they pretend to be human.

Why can't Superman beat Dracula?

Because he's afraid to go into the krypt tonite!

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

What Did The Muslim Terminator Say?

Allah Be Back.

What did the Terminator chicken say when it crossed the road?

I'll be bawk.

My wife said she is leaving me because I always mis-quote the Terminator films.

She'll be back.

I wish my Dad was the Terminator...

...because then he'd come back.

Terminator the musical

"I'll be bach!"

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the movie execs when he found out they wanted more racial diversity in the Terminator movies?

I’ll be black.

My wife insisted on a threesome with that Terminator actor

I didn’t want to risk trouble so as soon as he turned up I said “I’ll be front”

I asked the terminator why he didn’t upgrade to Windows 10

He said "I still love vista baby"

What are terminators called when they retire?

Exterminators

Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys?

Aisle B, back.