If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?

What's the one currency superman can't hold?

Kryptocurrency.

My wife insisted on a threesome with that Terminator actor

I didn’t want to risk trouble so as soon as he turned up I said “I’ll be front”

Count Dracula returned a mirror to my shop yesterday

He said it wasn't faulty, he just couldn't see himself using it.

What happened when Dracula uploaded illegal content to YouTube?

A count suspended.

What did the Terminator chicken say when it crossed the road?

I'll be bawk.

"Pornhub offers free premium service in Italy to ease coronavirus pains". 
Now the hoarding of toilet paper make more sense!

What is it called when Batman and Superman challenge each other to a race?

A Marthaon

How does Superman get out of risky situations?

He always has an ‘S’ cape

What does Dracula's torch run on?

Bat-teries.

Why can't Superman beat Dracula?

Because he's afraid to go into the krypt tonite!

Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys?

Aisle B, back.

Have you ever heard about Draculas vegan brother

Count Rucola?

I asked the terminator why he didn’t upgrade to Windows 10

He said "I still love vista baby"

Superman got a divorce...

He can only see his kids with super vision now.