What's the one currency superman can't hold?

Kryptocurrency.

If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?

Count Dracula returned a mirror to my shop yesterday

He said it wasn't faulty, he just couldn't see himself using it.

My wife insisted on a threesome with that Terminator actor

I didn’t want to risk trouble so as soon as he turned up I said “I’ll be front”

What did the Terminator chicken say when it crossed the road?

I'll be bawk.

What happened when Dracula uploaded illegal content to YouTube?

A count suspended.

What is it called when Batman and Superman challenge each other to a race?

A Marthaon

Why can't Superman beat Dracula?

Because he's afraid to go into the krypt tonite!

What does Dracula's torch run on?

Bat-teries.

"Pornhub offers free premium service in Italy to ease coronavirus pains". 
Now the hoarding of toilet paper make more sense!

Have you ever heard about Draculas vegan brother

Count Rucola?

Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys?

Aisle B, back.

How does Superman get out of risky situations?

He always has an ‘S’ cape

I asked the terminator why he didn’t upgrade to Windows 10

He said "I still love vista baby"

Superman got a divorce...

He can only see his kids with super vision now.