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PastaMan

I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.

PastaMan

If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

PastaMan

Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside.

PastaMan

Why does Norway have barcodes on their battleships? So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian.

PastaMan

I've just written a song about a tortilla. Well, it is more of a rap really.

PastaMan

Slept like a log last night … woke up in the fireplace.

PastaMan

People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.

PastaMan

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

PastaMan

I used to work for a soft drink can crusher. It was soda pressing.

PastaMan

How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.

PastaMan

I asked a frenchman if he played video games. He said "Wii"

PastaMan

I have the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.

PastaMan

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted

PastaMan

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

PastaMan

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn!

PastaMan

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

PastaMan

Conjunctivitis.com – now that’s a site for sore eyes.

PastaMan

I hate perforated lines, they're tearable.

PastaMan

Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.

PastaMan

Why does Superman get invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

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