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Mark14

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Mark14

What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.

Mark14

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented? Lil Caesars

Mark14

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!

Mark14

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

Mark14

How do you get a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.

Mark14

Why did the opera singer go sailing? They wanted to hit the high Cs.

Mark14

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might peel!

Mark14

What did one nut say as he chased another nut? I'm a cashew!

Mark14

Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.

Mark14

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

Mark14

What's the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher? They can't control their pupils.

Mark14

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

Mark14

How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training

Mark14

I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.

Mark14

My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff. It is enough to make a mango crazy.

Mark14

What is the hardest part about sky diving? The ground.

Mark14

I fear for the calendar, it’s days are numbered.

Mark14

Why is there always a gate around cemeteries? Because people are always dying to get in.

Mark14

So, I heard this pun about cows, but it’s kinda offensive so I won’t say it. I don’t want there to be any beef between us.

Mark14

What do you do when you see a space man? Park your car, man.

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