There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''

What did the gay deer say when he left the bar?

"I can't believe I blew 50 bucks back there."

Are you the square root of -1?

Because you can’t be real

Knock Knock 
Who's there? 
Urine! 
Urine Who? 
Urine secure, don't know what for. 

If trump can make it upto presidency

I can make it to bed early

(Preferably be a guy)

I just wanna let you know how beautiful you are and was wondering if you could buy me a drink?

Just found $26 in the dryer, about to get arrested for money laundering.

What does the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, Im going in.

"I'm gonna cut off my eyebrows and draw new ones on with a pencil" - Woman logic