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Deus

Be honest, There is no fear on this earth like waiting for your internet history to clear quickly while someone urgently needs to use your laptop.

48

Deus

My wife's constantly making sarcastic comments about my receding hairline.

It's starting to wear a little thin.

53

Deus

You never realise what you've got till it's gone.
Toilet paper being a good example.

47

Kate

puns

For Valentine's day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus. It's the little things that count.

59

DaBoiThicc

puns

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? 1 or 2? 1... or 2?

35

Kate

puns

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

42

Mark14

puns

Did you hear about the blind circumciser... he got the sack.

48

DaBoiThicc

puns

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

52

GoD_139

puns

How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!

45

GoD_139

puns

What do you get hanging from Apple trees? Sore arms.

32

Deus

What do you call the bad areas in Italy?

The spaghetto.

53

Deus

puns

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign Language

49

GoD_139

puns

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.

38

PastaMan

puns

If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

62

Lemon

fat

Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said ''To be continued'' 

50

PastaMan

puns

Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside.

53

TheOneWhoKnocks

knock knock jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing? 
She had no arms. 

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?" 
"Not Sally" 
 

37

LittleMister

dark humor

Many poeple call me emo, But I only cut myself 5 times

37

Sicko

bar

My first wife died of alcoholism 

 

I went home drunk and shot here

45

Mark14

puns

Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy. How low can you go?

44

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