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Deus went for a job interview. "Where would you like to see yourself in five years time?" he asked me. I thought and said, "Suspended on full pay."
Deus puns A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?” The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
Kate puns At the boxing match, the dad got into the popcorn line and the line for hot dogs, but he wanted to stay out of the punchline.
Mark14 puns My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
Deus I've found out my Dad wanted me aborted. My Mum thought it was a bad idea as I was just about to start secondary School.
Mark14 puns Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.
Mark14 puns A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a glass of vodka but the bar tender says, “sorry we don’t serve spirits”
TheOneWhoKnocks knock knock jokes Knock Knock Who's there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time to Wipe my ass.