I feel sorry for the person who writes those Wikipedia pages.

I bet teachers never accept his homework.

Whats got 4 legs and goes "boo"?

A cow with a cold.

Tina Turner : "who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?"

Going by your logic Tina, we don't need arms or legs.

The best place to hide a body is on Page 2 of Google's search results.

Pro Tip: If a police officer pulls you over, do not tell him/her, "I find you very
attractive...and that's not just the booze talking!"

A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with another 2000 yen, and was handed $66.

He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Japanese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"

Maths, the only subject that counts.