I was talking to my friend when I told him, "When I was born I was left on the doorstep of a little cottage with a note attached to me."

"What did the note say?" He asked.

"I dont know." I replied, "I was too young to read."

I used to think i was indecisive

But now i'm not sure

So this SEO expert walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor.

I got rid of a huge fly with my slipper today.

I said, "you can have this slipper if you get out of my house."

I want to set up my own business selling kites.

But I just cant seem to get it off the ground.

I saw a High Priest today. "Alright Father,"

I said, "Been on the Waccy Baccy again?"

Uh, if you take the L ube out of sex, it may make you or your partner feel like a peasant rather than pleasant... That's the L..

A round man rarely is found with a point