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Kate

puns

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

41

Deus

Last month I applied for a job at Royal mail as a postman, although I forgot to post my apllication form...

Long story short, I start Monday.

51

PastaMan

puns

People who don't eat gluten are really going against the grain.

49

Deus

puns

How do the trees get on the internet? They log on.

53

Deus

puns

Child: Dad, make me a sandwich. Dad: Poof! You're a sandwich.

28

Mark14

puns

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

51

GoD_139

puns

What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed? "Don't look I'm changing!"

2

Mark14

puns

Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Guilty

37

Deus

My girlfriend just broke up with me.

She says I spend too Much time talking to people I dont even know online.

Just wait til "pokemonmaster91" hears about this.

44

GoD_139

puns

They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck. It quacked under the pressure.

39

Kate

puns

Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!

37

GoD_139

puns

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

52

Deus

puns

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.

41

Deus

puns

If i was given a penny for everytime i answered a question vaguely...

I would have a lot of pennies

46

DaBoiThicc

puns

What did one hat say to the other? 
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

28

DaBoiThicc

puns

People saying 'boo! to their friends has risen by 85% in the last year.... That's a frightening statistic.

40

GoD_139

puns

Camping is intense.

48

PastaMan

puns

My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.

44

DaBoiThicc

puns

Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes…

You need to let that mango.

21

Deus

puns

Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

45

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