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DaBoiThicc

bar

Interviewer: I see on your application that you never went to jail?
Me: That's correct, i was taken.

39

Deus

puns

How do the trees get on the internet? They log on.

53

Deus

puns

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.

41

DaBoiThicc

puns

I got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves.

42

Deus

puns

If i was given a penny for everytime i answered a question vaguely...

I would have a lot of pennies

46

Mark14

puns

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

51

GoD_139

puns

They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck. It quacked under the pressure.

39

DaBoiThicc

puns

People saying 'boo! to their friends has risen by 85% in the last year.... That's a frightening statistic.

40

Deus

puns

Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

45

Deus

news & politics

Before the virus I used to cough to hide my farts

now i fart to hide my coughs 

2

Mark14

puns

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

45

PastaMan

puns

Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.

43

Selfdistruction

fat

When Larry stepped on the scale ot rang my phone number.

 

57

Kate

puns

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

41

PastaMan

puns

In my career as a lumberjack I cut down exactly 52,487 trees. I know because I kept a log.

2

Kate

puns

What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

34

Mark14

puns

Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Guilty

37

PastaMan

puns

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles!

47

Deus

puns

How many bones are in the human hand? A handful of them.

55

GoD_139

puns

Mountains aren't just funny, they are hill areas

53

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