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GreenMario

animal

Patient: I get scared every time I think of big animals.
Therapist: We have pills for that, but bear in mind...
Patient: AAUUGGHH!!

33

Mark14

puns

You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran, because it's past tents.

39

DaBoiThicc

puns

People saying 'boo! to their friends has risen by 85% in the last year.... That's a frightening statistic.

40

Deus

puns

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.

41

Mark14

puns

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

45

PastaMan

puns

When Dad drops a pea off of his plate β€˜oh dear I’ve pee’d on the table!

43

PastaMan

puns

My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.

44

DaBoiThicc

puns

Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes…

You need to let that mango.

21

PastaMan

puns

You can't trust a ladder. It will always let you down

48

Deus

I started dating a math teacher a couple of weeks ago.

she turned round one night and said to me "You know youre really stupid, I have no idea why Im with you, i bet you dont even know what pi is!"

"I know you eat too much of it" I replied.

44

Deus

puns

How do the trees get on the internet? They log on.

53

Deus

My girlfriend just broke up with me.

She says I spend too Much time talking to people I dont even know online.

Just wait til "pokemonmaster91" hears about this.

44

PastaMan

puns

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my Trail Mix.

2

GoD_139

puns

Camping is intense.

48

DaBoiThicc

puns

Some people say that I never got over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.

40

PastaMan

puns

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles!

47

Kate

puns

What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

34

Selfdistruction

fat

When Larry stepped on the scale ot rang my phone number.

 

57

DaBoiThicc

puns

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

52

Mark14

puns

Dad I’m hungry’ … β€˜Hi hungry I’m dad

46

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