How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?

Tenticles.

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

ten-tickles

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

Knock, Knock! 
Who's There? 
Dewey! 
Dewey who? 
Dewey have to use a condom? 
 

Whats the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot.

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Cause I can see myself in your pants!

Name a spongebob quote to describe your sexuality.

Are ya ready kids!

Please pray for me, I will be going to the hospital tommorow.

I think i have a problem with my eyes, Every time I look into my wallet, I see nothing.

I just shit my pants.
Can i get in yours?