Why should you never use a dull pencil?

Because it’s pointless.

What is the Terminator's favorite Italian food?

Pasta la vista, baby.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

The hand is quicker than the eye.
Unfortunately, the CCTV camera at my nearest primary school's gates is
quicker than both.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use honeycombs.

My dad always told me not to stab people in the back.
I agree completely.
It's much easier to reach their vital organs from the front.

I've got a good joke about Royal Mail, but I think I'll post it next week.

I know you’re busy today but can you add me to your to-do list?

I recently took up meditation.
It beats sitting around doing nothing.

I've just started a business which is a rat and mouse washing service. It's
going great...
All our customers are squeaky clean.

What state has the smallest drinks?

Mini-soda.