Blonde

There is no "i" in "illiterate".

I've just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered
completely invisible.
I'm still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself.

I've just tucked my shirt in.
I don't know why I put it to bed so early.

My boss fired me for being "incompetent".

How could I be something I dont even know what it is?

My email password has been hacked. 

That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.