Mark14 | Give me jokes

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Mark14

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Mark14

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Mark14

Past, present, and future walked into a bar.... It was tense.

Mark14

There is something wrong with my cell phone.
It doesn't have your number in it.

Mark14

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Mark14

How was the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.

Mark14

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Mark14

What do you do when your bunny gets wet? You get your hare dryer.

Mark14

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Mark14

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

Mark14

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!

Mark14

How come the stadium got hot after the game? Because all of the fans left.

Mark14

I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.

Mark14

This morning I was wondering where the sun was, but then it dawned on me.

Mark14

Dad, can you put my shoes on? I don't think they'll fit me.

Mark14

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they take everything literally.

Mark14

Yesterday I confused the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza". Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

Mark14

"Dad, I'm hungry." Hello, Hungry. I'm Dad.

Mark14

I’ve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it’s Hans free.

Mark14

I'm so good at sleeping.
I can do it with my eyes closed.

Mark14

My friend keeps telling me "Cheer up. You aren't stuck in a deep hole in the ground, filled with water." I know he means well.

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