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GoD_139

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GoD_139

I saw my husband trip and fall while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes. I watched it all unfold.

GoD_139

Why is it always hot in the corner of a room? Because a corner is 90 degrees.

GoD_139

Yo mamma so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

GoD_139

If I could name myself after any Egyptian god, I'd be Set.

GoD_139

Have you heard about the owl sanctuary job opening? It’s all night shifts but they’re all a hoot over there.

GoD_139

We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?

GoD_139

Bought a new jacket suit the other day and it burst into flames. Well, it was a blazer

GoD_139

A girl once asked me what my heart desired, apparently blood, oxygen and neural messages were all wrong answers

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