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PastaMan

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

PastaMan

What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone.

PastaMan

Why did the cowboy have a weiner dog? Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.

PastaMan

Why is the ocean always blue? Because the shore never waves back.

PastaMan

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

PastaMan

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles!

PastaMan

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

PastaMan

What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.

PastaMan

Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

PastaMan

I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked. Then it just clicked.

PastaMan

How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.

PastaMan

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

PastaMan

What is the tallest building in the world? The library – it’s got the most stories!

PastaMan

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

PastaMan

Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.

PastaMan

What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño face.

PastaMan

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn!

PastaMan

What do you call someone with no nose? Nobody knows.

PastaMan

Hostess: Do you have a preference of where you sit? Dad: Down.

PastaMan

What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO.

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