What did the big bucket say to the little bucket?

You look a little pail.

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was out standing in his field

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

Are you from Japan?

Cause I’m tryna get in Japanties.

Why does Santa Claus have a big sack?

He only comes once a year

I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle.

I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle.

Why couldn't the man with no feet drink coffee?

Because he lack toes.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Knock, Knock! 
Who's There? 
Madam 
Madam who? 
Help madam finger is stuck in the door 

Knock knock. 
Who’s there? 
Hawaii. 
Hawaii who? 
I’m fine, Hawaii you?

Bill Gates farted in an Apple store.

He later commented, "Well it’s hardly my fault they don't have any Windows…”